


This Means War

by turante



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Drabble, Gavin Reed Swears, Humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-09
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2019-08-21 07:05:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16571942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/turante/pseuds/turante
Summary: How Gavin Reed learned how to ask nicely, or pay the consequences.





	1. Catalyst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This started as a standalone fic, but I couldn't let it rest. I don't know if there are more chapters to come, they should be pretty indipendent.

“Get me a coffee, dipshit,” detective Reed asked of his partner, not unexpectedly, for the third time since that morning.

Richard gave the detective a pointless hard stare, but got up from his desk anyway. “Would you like anything else, detective? Some biscotti, perhaps?” he decided to add, sarcastically.

“Don’t be an asshole.” Gavin crunched up a used post-it and threw it at his android partner, who decided not to reply and walked towards the break room.

Richard refilled the water tank of the coffee machine, took a clean mug with a slogan from the cabinet and put it under the spout. He selected the beverage and prepared it, then took the mug and walked back to their desks. “Here you go, detective Reed.”

Gavin took the mug from his hands and turned it to read the slogan. “Don’t talk to me until I’ve finished my coffee,” he read. “Seems appropriate,” he smirked and took a sip. “Thanks,” he whispered against the porcelain mid-sips.

Richard sat back at his desk.

 

A few days later Gavin got up from his desk, needing to stretch his legs after spending most of the afternoon sitting down typing reports. “I’m getting some coffee, do you want something? A blue lemonade or a hot thirium latte perhaps?” Reed joked, in an uncharacteristically good mood.

“No, thanks, I’m fine,” Richard replied, looking away from his terminal meet his eyes.

Gavin went to the break room and made himself a cup of coffee. He sipped it as walked back to his desk and did a double take. “Did they change the coffee?!” he asked to himself, but Connor replied to him anyway.

“No detective. It’s the usual blend. The department has a standing order with the coffee shop down the road.”

Gavin took another sip to make sure, and sat back at his desk. “Do you think they cleaned the coffee machine?” he asked Richard, reclining on his chair to place both feet on his desk, legs crossed at the ankle.

“I don’t think so.” The android didn’t even look away from his terminal.

“The coffee tastes different.”

“Perhaps it’s because I switched you to decaf last week.”

Reed stood up from his desk, seeing red. “What did you say, tin can?!”

“It’s better for your blood pressure. Please sit, you’re distracting everyone.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/vgirolimetti) where I occasionally write something.


	2. Retaliation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gavin finds a way to retaliate RK900's prank.

The very next day Richard started finding magnets stuck to his jacket. A tiny _“I ❤ Detroit”_ at first, that clacked to the ground once he removed his jacket to sit down at his desk. He picked it up and scanned it, finding no traces or fingerprints on it. He figured that it was probably an accident and decided to give it no further consideration.

The next day two magnets clatter to the floor. A plain round one from the captain's old fashioned whiteboard, and a _“Detroit, Michigan”_ magnet that was once on the break room's fridge door. Richard scanned them and decided that they had been wiped clean of prints on purpose. He determined an 89% probability of it being a prank, therefore he created a list of suspects. So far only his partner was on it.

He paid greater attention to Reed's whereabouts and behaviour in the following week, but there were no more incidents. From time to time he threw a glance at the magnets he kept and attached to a metal pen holder on his desk.

Had he been human, he would have undoubtedly relaxed, but he was an investigative android and remained observant enough to take notice of Gavin's whereabouts around the time another magnet mysteriously attached itself to his back.  
“Would you care to explain, detective?” He confronted his partner, brandishing the _“property of the DPD”_ magnet he’d just found.  
“Dunno what you're talking about,” the detective replied, feigning concern. “Someone trying to shut you down?”  
“Fridge magnets can’t affect my system or damage my biocomponents.”  
“Maybe they are stupid.”  
Richard gave him a long, silent stare, considering his reply carefully. “That’s a likely possibility.”  
Gavin shrugged and pushed his chair away from his desk. “I’m getting a coffee, want anything?”  
“Thank you, but I do not eat or drink.”

Reed presumably put another magnet on his back later the same day, this one read _“Got thirium?”_. The android removed it from between his shoulder blades and added it to the growing collection around on his desk. He decided to do an internet search to determine its provenance, but couldn't find a seller that sold this specific design. He glanced over to his partner, who was typing up a report and huffing in annoyance.  
“Do you need assistance, detective?”  
Reed glanced away from his terminal and at him. “You know what? Yeah, I could use finishing this fucking report before the end of the year. Let me send you a copy you can fix,” Gavin typed a few things quickly, and the report immediately appeared in his inbox.

The following morning, once his partner and him were both at the precinct, Richard’s LED spun yellow once, twice, three times as he established a connection with Connor.  
“I need a favour,” he asked, non verbally.  
“Of course, what can I do for you?” The reply was in the same channel.  
“Surveillance,” Richard replied, explaining his plan in detail.  
Later that day he rose from his chair to make his partner a coffee–decaf of course–while Connor made sure to keep him in his eyesight.  
He handed the mug to the detective and turned his head to check his back. Sure enough, he found another magnet on his back ( _“how do you like my detecting? text 313 248 317 - 87”_ ) and a second one just above his belt ( _“plastic twink”_ ). He let the skin of his hand retract and he connected with the phone he'd just lifted from Reed's jacket, downloading his colleague's browsing history. He turned towards Connor, who gave him a tiny nod and rose to join him at his desk. His hand touched Richard's back and he shared a memory with him during the contact. Connor continued on to sit back at his desk, and Richard started sifting through the evidence.  
On the phone, he found a few google searches for _“do magnets damage androids?”_ and variations thereof, dated a few days before the first time he'd been used like a fridge door. He also found an order for personalised magnets from a seller on etsy. He chose to delete the rest of the browsing history to at least pretend to respect Gavin's privacy. He compiled these findings with the video memory Connor had shared with him of officer Chen and Gavin attaching the magnets to his body while he was performing other tasks, and sent it all to Reed's personal inbox.  
He heard a ping from Gavin's phone, and he slid it to his partner's desk, watching as Gavin read the email he’d just sent.

>from: 313 248 317 - 87  
>to: gavin.reed@email.com  
>subject: Suspect Identification  
>  
> It has come to my attention that a serious prankster has been active at the DPD since >October 15th, attaching magnets to unsuspecting androids. I concluded the investigation >due to the overwhelming amount of incriminating evidence in my possession. Please >review the evidence attached before assisting me in the arrest.

>

>

>Cordially,  
>Richard

Gavin read, opened the attached files and burst out laughing. “Arrest me, tin can? You wish you had an excuse to cuff me, don't you?”  
“As if I needed handcuffs to restrain you,” Richard quipped back, and he didn't miss Gavin’s pupils dilating at the words, but he chose to ignore it.  
“Why did you wait so long to confront me, though?”  
“I only confronted you now because I have no more room for magnets,” the android said, pointing at his pen holder, now completely covered by the magnets.  
Gavin grinned at him, “I have just a couple more,” he said, opening his desk drawer and tossing him two more magnets.  
_“Rated R for violence”_ and _“I like to lick inappropriate stuff”_. Richard smiled and attached the latter to his arm.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/vgirolimetti) where I occasionally write something.


End file.
